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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?